"Sorry, fellow English majors—novels belong to the past."
Should be titled, “And The Award For ‘College Major Which Can Always Be Relied Upon To Shit On Itself Whenever Possible’ Goes To… Of Course, It’s The Fucking English Majors.”
English majors: You have worth, and your skills mean something. Your persistent self-deprecation withered me and drove me away. Don’t let yourselves or anyone say, “Lol, what are you going to do with an English major?” without immediately punching them.
People are always so excited to declare the death of a particular medium. These same people often also believe that the greatest novels that will ever be written were written before 1900. Do not listen to these people. They are spiteful and unimaginative and wish the novel were dead so they didn’t feel bad about never writing one, like they dreamed they would since they were young.
